Have you heard of fractals?  Well I hadn’t… until a couple of years ago when I was watching a science programme  and discovered this bloke Beinot Mandelbrot  who came up with fractals.  I watched the  programme and I didn’t understand anything about fractals by the end the end of it, except I noticed  my body leaned closer and closer to the TV screen and positively fizzed. 
My eyes got wide…and then wider …even though I didn’t understand a buggery bollocking thing.  I watched the credits roll at the end of the show and thought…my life has changed…I know about fractals.
When I was a kid I didn’t understood why I was so crap at science.  My family on my father’s side are scientists.  My father did pre-med at Auckland Uni, you had to be good at science to do that.  His two brothers got PhDs in chemistry.  My cousin is a world expert in photo voltaic cells, another is a medical doctor, another helps write regulations for water quality for the federal govt in the US. The other two cousins were no slouches when it came to science either; though they chose not to pursue it. 
Science, I figured, should be in my veins.   I used to go to science classes at school and think….I need a link, a relationship between me and this subject to get me in.  Just giving me the periodic table and bunsen burners and petri dishes and hard stools to sit on at wooden tables next to a bunch of boys who wanted to blow up things, wasn’t gonna do it.  
Science is really about imagination and creativity and it’s spiralling in its energy…a bit like a fractal. 
I even said once to myself at about 15, why can’t I understand this subject at all.  The answer came back, but you do understand it.  I thought….it’s pointless thinking to myself if all I get is ridiculous answers like that.
I dumped the subject totally then.  I did English which I wasn’t much good at, and geography and history and art history which I liked.
So I have gone through life knowing no science or physics…and not caring either.   
It was  when I started doing spiritual stuff that I suddenly got interested in science.  The link in, the relationship I found, was  quantum physics. 
I was in love with quantum physics as soon as I clapped eyes on it, it was love at first sight.   I didn’t UNDERSTAND it with my brain but I KNEW it with my body.  Richard Feynman, that noble prize winner for physics, once said, anyone who says they understand quantum physics, doesn’t.   He said “I can safely say no-one understands quantum physics.”  And Niels Bohr said this cool thing…” anyone who is not shocked by quantum physics has not understood a single word. ” Groucho Marx said “very interesting…it makes no sense at all.”
  Just those comments…it shows me potential for possibliites, I mean, infinite potential and infinite possiblities. To me these comments say we’ve got something outside linear time and space, which is why you can’t understand it, and if you get into a relationship with the ‘concept’… guess what….you explode your knowledge, the edge of your knowing, into a new and completely different realm of understanding.  It takes imagination, creativity to do that. It also takes frustration mixed with excitement to want to get beyond the boring old three dimensional paradigm.
Here’s the thing…since I was born I have never accepted this 3D limitation.  I always thought, even as a little kid….this is so boring…nothing happens.
I am so happy now with my new friends fractals and quantum physics.  They reassure me I wasn’t mad and I’m not mad now.  They tell me about other dimensions and I go there sometimes on some level.  It’s bloody exciting and exactly how I imagined it might be.
It sounds like a fizzy drink bottle being opened.
It tastes like fizz too, as soon as you taste the tingling sweetness, it’s gone. It’s moved on to something else.
There’s no certainity. There’s clarity ..but only for a second.  There’s no duality in it…duality can’t exist there.
I’m besotted. I’m in a relationship with science…it’s  called Love.

2 thoughts on “Fractals

  1. Yay … NOW I can leave a comment. I wanted to the other day but wordpress was saying no.
    This post is brilliant … so well written. My husband read it and said the same.
    What you wrote at the end about the fizz .. the clarity ..only for a second … absolutely brilliant.
    Did you see that you won a prestigious award the other day … the red carpet it waiting.

    • oops…I didn’t reply. Nothing like a love award. I am deeply touched. It made me write my fractals post. Did you notice, I got the award and got inspired.

      Thanks so much.

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